They say you don't know what you have till it's gone. I have learned that very well today. I didn't know how much I relied on my fibro meds. I didn't realize how much they managed my pain.
That is until today. I woke up exhausted which isn't new but this time it's didn't eventually go away. I felt like I might fall asleep while standing, sitting, cooking.
My body was stiffer than usual which made moving hard to do. I ached in places that usually don't give me much problems.
The moment of clarity was when I was headed for bed. To keep down utility costs we keep the heat down. My room was pretty cold, so I brought my space heater in to warm it up. Even with it on and under the covers I felt so cold it almost felt feverish with chills. That caused my temperature sensitivity to make getting comfortable impossible. I had to do go pee which brought me back to bed in tears. I was no longer just achy I felt like I was being stabbed.
I rely on my health insurance and last month I couldn't pay for it. Even tho is just right under $50. So this month I can't afford to get my medication. Without insurance it's $175+. With my insurance it's completely covered.
You don't realise how much you take for granted the little things, like the meds you take daily. Or the insurance you pay for each month. That is until you don't have it. I typically see at least one doctor a month, 2 - 4 on the months I have my regular follow ups.
How I'm gonna make it through this month is beyond me. But I know I'll never take the little things for granted again.
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